Always hearing the elders in the family teaching us that every one that is born must die also stayed with me in my head. It still does; today with a slightly better understanding. Every time, I have visited the Lodhi road crematorium in Delhi, there is on the walls, all around, verses from the Bhagwad Gita where Lord Krishna is explaining the principle to Arjun just before he was getting ready to go on a rampage. He explains the principle of life and death and reiterates on the fact that the body is just an outer cover for the soul and one should not mourn when the covering is gone. Very simple yet not very easy to pragmatically put to use. If the soul is all inclusive and eternal then the physical body is the mask that it adorns. So what do we cry about? Are we crying for the soul? If yes, then we are wasting our time because it isn’t going any where. It has been released from the grip of the human flesh and unified with the universe all ready to choose for itself a new body and a new shape. So do we cry for the body? Do we cry every time we open a gift and rip apart the wrapping paper? No. Then when do we shed tears when the body goes. Are we crying for the attachment we have towards the deceased? I guess so. I was sitting with a learned man who shared an insight about people crying because of expectations that they have/had from the dead. They are crying because they are thinking, “Now what?”, and trying to unsuccessfully deal with their own inability to survive minus the presence of the person who went away. My teacher has another opinion. He told me, “whats the point of coming and mourning when someone died when you didn’t have the time for the person when he/she was alive?”. Rather piercing but also has a lot of truth in it.

I told my father a few years back that I don’t want to cry when he passes over. He looked at me strangely but I think he understood the space from where the statement was coming. I don’t want to cry because I don’t want to have any knots where he is concerned. And I ensured I didn’t cry at his pyre. The break down happened a few months later. It was liberating. Not knotting.

Hopefully, my loved ones will go when they want to and when their time is over. They will know for sure when their time is right to pass over to the other world where they can stand in queue to be recycled and reborn depending on all their deeds in this life. I think everyone knows when the moment is there. Even the ones who have an “untimely” death. The reason why I put ‘untimely” in quotes because there is nothing which is untimely. If a person passes over at 3, it is not untimely; if one goes at 73, it isn’t untimely either. We call passing over at 3 untimely because the person wasn’t “old” in flesh and age. We forget the “old soul” part. You could be 3 but still be an old soul. But the point is not to criticize the short comings of human understanding. I think there are enough people who enjoy doing that job. I remember myself saying in one of my lectures a while back that “ there are some people who come into your life for a purpose. When that purpose is fulfilled, they go their own way. And we must allow them to leave. If we resist the departure, it causes pain to both the individuals. This example was given for a living person who was wanting to step out of a relationship. There was temporary death in the moment of the break in relationship. But somewhere it holds good for the dead”.

Why is death looked at when the body gives up? I have found death to be in every moment. Not only death but also birth. In every breath lies a moment of birth and death. More specifically, when the lungs inhale as much air as they can consume, there is moment of pause, of death, and birth happens, as the exhalation starts till all the breath is released to a state of near emptiness. And then death happens and rebirth as the inhalation starts.

The start of a day and its end explains the process of death and birth and death and rebirth. Bathing is the death of the old skin and birth of a deeper cover. Sleep itself is the birth and death. A friend, as I was writing these lines, called and said. “Death is simply a passage into the next body. The sooner one realises it, the less fearful one becomes.” Interesting! In many cultures in India and around the world, death has been celebrated rather than mourned. There was music and dance to celebrate the passing over especially if the deceased had lived a full life. But every life is full! Full to the extent that you allow it to be.

One thing that also fascinates me is to get an insight into the dying persons mind. What is going on in the head of the dying? Denial, acceptance, sadness, happiness or what? I would love to sit next to a person who is on his way up or down, depending on how you want to look at it, and have the person share what the creations of a dying brain and heart have to say. If one has to look at it scientifically, because the body is in a state of release, a lot of hormonal and chemical changes would be taking place in the body and the brain which would make the person see, hear, hallucinate. The same thing to look at metaphysically could be messages from the masters and the angels who are waiting for the bucket to be kicked to guide you to the gates to register your entry. What are these messages? Dr. Brian Weiss in his book, Many lives & Many masters, has documented extremely potent insights into the mind of his subject in this life as well as the many lives the subject lived in the past. A beautiful book, it is. It is a book which has been written without a bias because Dr Weiss was trained to look at everything very logically and scientifically and these insights about death and reincarnation was like washing away all the knowledge he had obtained in his formal training.

Something I experienced in Dec of ’07.

I had a wonderful experience a week and a half back and somewhere I feel that it adds to the journey of the art of dying. I was in meditation and just before I reached the state of “ding”, I had a thought that translated to emotive pain. The pain was beautiful as it made me aware of my journey as a peaceful warrior – as I see myself. I must thank Dan Millman and Paulo Coelho for this awareness besides a lot of individuals I have met in person who have ignited the spark of higher consciousness in me. This pain also made me aware of being alone yet not lonely. Alone on my journey. Being alone is one of the best ways to be able to cultivate. Being alone gives you the opportunity to be benevolent to yourself and the souls around you. And it gives you the space to be you – in touch with your essence, away from the persona. A thought of a hundred percent embrace came to my mind – something. What a wonderful feeling it would be to be able to embrace a person with a 100% surrender. I even attempted to understand what that meant.

We have 4 layers of muscle. the first two are the ones we can control and move our limbs with. The 3rd layer is what one needs to work at and the last one is something that we have no control over because they control the internals. If that layer gives up, so does our body. Anyway, with that thought in my mind, I very slowly entered ding. As I was aware of my main consciousness being present with me, I was also aware of what I was doing. Yet, after staying in the state for more than 10 minutes, which appeared like a year, something started happening. I had a feeling that my muscles were relaxing. A very good feeling, for sure. The third layer relaxed slowly putting my mind in alpha almost instantly. I remember being aware of this transition and was in a state of blissfulness. Then something else happened. I died. It lasted 2-3 seconds and I must confess, I was scared beyond my guts. The fourth layer of muscle relaxed. And while that happened or was happening, I felt a certain suction effect that took place. My brain immediately switched off and am pretty certain, my heart stopped. I resisted because I wasn’t too sure if I would have come back. But I did. I opened my eyes gently and found my organs coming back to their usual synchronized dance in a short while. I experienced death. And I was conscious of it.

If we need to live well, we need to be aware of what role Death plays in every breath we take. Then its an intimate tango.

Note: These are my thoughts based on my experiences and journeys. The intention is to just share and not be antagonistic to any approach or system.

Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults individuals and teams in the space of learning & development to enable transformations at a personal, professional and organizational level.

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While I was sitting at the banks of the Tons river in 2003, while working with a bunch of kids, I was looking at the eddy line and suddenly it dawned on me that the human mind can be compared to the hydrology of the river. The way the Rapids are formed, the boils, whirlpools; the human mind has it all. This little piece of wisdom has fascinated me time and time again.

Then I saw the Nyami Nyami locket around a friends neck. I love collecting these little lockets etc. So I asked him how I can own one. I was told that the only way a person deserves to wear the Nyami Nyami locket is to earn it. My next question was obviously asking what I had to do to earn the locket. “Raft the Zambezi”, is what I was told. “Done” is what I said. I had never seen a single video of the Zambezi at that time. I didn’t know about the crocs, the hippos, the crazy rapids…nothing. It was a larger than me commitment.

And once I saw what the mighty Zambezi was all about, my knees weakened. You couldn’t raft the Zambezi as a novice. You needed to know and you needed not to know. You had to have a few rivers under your belt before you decided to hop on to a raft and sing your way down the rapids.

So thats what I have been doing. Rafting on various rivers in India and Nepal. Its not enough but after I survived being sucked in a rapid on the Trisuli river in Nepal, and after I questioned my PLAN, and requestioned it, I felt I was ready to go earn my Nyami Nyami.

The Zambezi will be the precursor to the mighty Siang/ Brahmaputra (India) and Colorado (USA) and Futa (Chile) and Zanskar (Ladakh) and many more.

A lesson I learned which was a life saver, “Irrespective of whether people accompany you or not, you must go ahead and do your thing”. A lot of us are looking for company, sometimes to fill the void within ourselves. I realised that void will only get filled when you keep walking. I did the Sun kosi alone, Trisuli and Marsyandgi alone. The pleasure of meeting wonderful people on the river from various cultures is immense and a learning. No one shows their degrees, their certificates, their achievements. Its about adrenaline and responsibility. Its about safety and the rush that engulfs your body. Its about humility and strength.

But this time, two friends have decided to join me in this crazy adventure to earn the Nyami Nyami. With a couple of days at the National Parks to 3 days on the river, it will be a trip to remember…..

Thank you to all those who inspired me to do this…. for myself. My endeavour is to put to use the Hero’s Journey- a monomyth written by Joseph Campbell in the 30’s. He spoke of a 12 step transformational process which bridges the gap between the ordinary and the special world. I adopted the monomyth for one of my river programs called Current. Now to undertake my own Hero’s Journey…yet again.

One of the lessons that I have learned while persevering towards this dream is NEVER STOP DREAMING. The day we stop to dream and stop visioning our life the way WE want it to be, we would rather be dead.

Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults individuals and teams in the space of learning & development to enable transformations at a personal, professional and organizational level.

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I like to travel into the wild to spend time with myself and also to regain my focus on things that are important, personally and also work wise. One of the “side-effects” of following the Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey is that the difference between the “ordinary world” and the “special world” diminishes or dulls. Every time I have returned from the wild, my mind has been full of ideas to execute. Whilst I was following Campbell’s 12-step monomyth, it also has a lot to do with being in isolated places where very few human beings have been. The quiet and the stillness amongst the raging waters, while rafting rivers, or the expansive desolate spaces in Central Asia pushes your mind to settle and your heart to awaken. The ego is slowly pushed out, the demarcation between the person and the persona increases and perspectives become clearer and it leaves a sense of stillness and silence – both, the highest forms of movement and communication, respectively.

As an experiential educator and leadership facilitator I have had the privilege of addressing and sitting through countless trainings that talk about teamwork. A lot of them have been very valid and give a deeper understanding of the group dynamics whilst others have been a lot of jibber jabber.

One of the basic rules of adventure travel is to trust the people you are travelling with. There is no “I”, only “Us”. Your team members are the ones who come to your rescue if you fall into a rapid on one of the fiercest rivers in the world, or tear your shoulder and forearm ligament in 24 hours, in Africa, or if your legs stop moving and you cant breathe due to Altitude Mountain Sickness (AMS) at 14000 ft. above sea level in an extremely inhospitable terrain in Central Asia. They don’t desert you. They are the ones who take care of you. While I was in Central Asia in the middle of the Pamir mountains, I fell sick. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t breathe. I had forgotten to eat the medicine for AMS before I left. My team massaged my legs to get the blood running again after giving me emergency medicine. While I was rafting the Zambezi river in Zimbabwe, I tore my first shoulder ligament in the first 20 minutes of being on the river. My team members helped me manage the pain. When I tore the second ligament on day 2, my team members were there again. I wouldn’t have managed to complete the whole rafting section without them.

Another learning that has been engrained is to “Trust your leader, your guide, your expedition head”. Without them, your experience will be rudely cut short. They are the experts at what they do and putting your trust in them will only make the journey and the adventure worth its while. They are the guides for a particular reason. I have noticed something about the many guides I have travelled or worked with. They don’t show off. They don’t dominate their team. They don’t shout. They allow you spaces where the experience is manifested into beautiful memories. They are calm. They don’t panic. They are your pillars. They inspire.

There is no space for ego in the wilderness. As soon as ego starts playing havoc in the head, you will falter and when you are in the outdoors, every fault could be fatal. When the ego disappears or fades away, it gives clarity; clarity to say NO. I have seen a lot of macho men and women who, because they cant say a no, end up suffering and hurting themselves. As a traveller, you need to know your boundaries, your fitness levels, your commitment and your abilities. And sometimes it is wiser to say No and back out.

Talking about inspiration, I attended a talk a couple of years back called Leadership – the Shackleton way. Ernest Shackelton was an Irish sailor who made three trips to Antarctica. In 1914, his third trip was on a ship called “Endurance” planning to cross Antarctica via the South Pole. Early in 1915, ‘Endurance’ became trapped in the ice, and ten months later sank. Shackleton’s crew had already abandoned the ship to live on the floating ice. In April 1916, they set off in three small boats, eventually reaching Elephant Island. Taking five crew members, Shackleton went to find help. In a small boat, the six men spent 16 days crossing 1,300 km of ocean to reach South Georgia and then trekked across the island to a whaling station. The remaining men from the ‘Endurance’ were rescued in August 1916. Not one member of the expedition died.

When I attended this talk, I got intrigued and inspired. Also the speaker, in his late 60’s or early 70’s had returned from Antarctica. I was thrilled. Plus all the questions: You don’t want to be stranded in Antarctica. Especially in 1915 when the facilities to remain warm were far lesser than what we have now. How did he manage it? Why did his team trust him? Did the six crew members desert the others? All these questions have been answered in “South” – an account of Shackleton’s Endurance expedition. This story motivated me start planning my own Antarctica trip, hopefully in 2019. It is an expensive affair and requires a lot of preparation. I guess, we all need to find the Shackleton within ourselves. And we push our boundaries to find our own inner Hero, all over again.

 
Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults global teams in the space of learning behavioural patterns and implementing new techniques to reach Max Q potential.

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A lot of times, people commit to being in auto pilot. It’s like taking the same route to work everyday. Once you know the route inside out, the common thing to do is to put the mind into auto pilot. It’s a comfort space.

By being in auto pilot, we also enter the space of complacency because ‘it works’. The space to reflect and improve is no longer an open space. Unless we break out of the auto pilot mode and work on being aware, it may be difficult to get out of the constructs of our own mind. Lack of awareness makes patterns that much more difficult to change later.

Awareness of how you are breathing, how equally your weight is displaced on your feet and how is your spine is, are examples of body awareness or body schema.

Being aware of yourself In a given space is spatial awareness. It is an organised knowledge of objects in relation to yourself in a given space, moving or not.

Being aware of how you are feeling and how it is affecting your muscle movement is body-emotive awareness.

These are a few examples.

Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults individuals and teams in the space of learning & development to enable transformations at a personal, professional and organizational level.

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The warrior is a traveller.

Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults individuals and teams in the space of learning & development to enable transformations at a personal, professional and organizational level.

The post The travelling warrior appeared first on Syngrity Transformation Solutions.

Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults individuals and teams in the space of learning & development to enable transformations at a personal, professional and organizational level.

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