There has been a lot of song and dance about methods of giving and receiving feedback. For the longest time, there was a bit of clandestine shame in receiving feedback and a clandestine fear in giving it. Receiving feedback meant that you messed up. Every time your manager asked you in a meeting room for feedback, it meant that you screwed up, enough for you to be called in the “meeting room”.
Whilst the manager tried hard to hide his/her fear to save any confrontation, and hence be on the defence, finding solace in the sandwich technique, the person receiving the feedback was already defensive and would retort to an occasional offensive attack to fight back all forms of accusations.
There was nothing constructive that ever came out of this. The person receiving the feedback would be confused and angry about the non-clarity of what was to be worked on. The person would be physically tired because of the amygdala hijack and so would the manager. It was like a judo bout gone wrong.
Feedback refers to what needs to be addressed about something that already happened. It always looks back. Yes, there is a parallel process of rectification that needs to start so to avoid any further mistakes, if at all. Feedback, to me, carries the burden of a mistake. It doesn’t give the feeling of course correction but of finger-pointing.
At this point, it may be pertinent to point out some of the key reasons why people do not change in spite of receiving developmental stretch actions. Rick Maurer, Change Management specialist talks about three levels of resistance:
- 1st level: I don’t understand. Nobody has demonstrated the value proposition.
- 2nd level: I don’t like it. The resistance is based on uncertainty and personal loss.
- 3rd level: I don’t like or trust you. They do not trust the support system, and hence don’t feel safe. Why would someone want to experiment with change if they have no support?
Feed-forward
Feedforward, a concept developed by business educator and coach, Marshall Goldsmith, is now an increasingly popular practice in today’s workplaces. This practice can provide leaders with useful insight and help create a more positive work environment for the future while assisting employees in moving past barriers slowing down and negatively impacting their productivity and performance. Feed-forward allows the person to observe what happened and what can be done to reinforce, refine or re-direct the occurrence. It is safer. It looks at ways ahead rather than ways left behind.
What should the coach/ manager do?
There are a few things that the manager needs to keep in mind while giving feed-forward:
- It is more productive to help people be right rather than prove them wrong.
- Assure the coachee that your intention is an improvement of the process and an increase in the person’s personal and business acumen. Focus on the future, not the past, on the possibilities rather than the follies. Stick to that intention. If you feel that your personal vendetta, if at all, is coming in, then refuse the coaching.
- You always give feed-forward about one pivotal action/behaviour that either was good, could be better, needs to change. People don’t register more.
- Your feed-forward should not be more than 60 secs (90 secs top). Given the time frame, do not find solace in the sandwich technique. People know when you are sugar-coating savories.
- Do not use archaic techniques like the sandwich technique of giving feedback. Think ahead. Think feed-forward! No one wants hidden information. Be direct.
- Do not hide your eyes. You will lose credibility. Look straight into the eyes of the person who you are coaching, whether in person or virtually (you’ll need to manage the virtual camera world).
- Ask for suggestions from the coachee. If your coachee is a part of his or her own developmental plan, it will work. Do not reference anything to the past. The focus is on making a better future.
- Assure the coachee that you are keeping an eye and will provide guidance, after the feed-forward. Do not desert the coachee. If you are not in a condition to provide after feed-forward guidance, then do not volunteer. Please direct the person to someone who can.
- Feed-forward should be on a 3 point scale (remember to not exceed 90 secs tops)
- REINFORCE Something someone did well and needs to cement further.
- REFINE: Something someone could do a little better.
- REDIRECT: Something someone needs to change completely.
For eg:
- I really liked the way you asked about Chuck’s dog while speaking about the new account plan. I would like you to REINFORCE that. I would continue to observe you to offer any guidance.
- I observed the way you created the contract however you may have left out XYZ. I would like you to REFINE that. I would continue to observe you to offer any guidance.
- I saw the way you spoke to your team member. I do not think that was appropriate behaviour. I would like you to REDIRECT this behaviour. I would continue to observe you to offer any guidance.
What should the coachee do?
Now, as a coachee, or a person receiving feed-forward, do keep the following things in mind:
- Most organisations took a major financial hit during the Covid global health crises. There is an urgent need to consolidate which has also resulted in the loss of employment for many. If your manager is investing time in coaching you, you are definitely of direct value to your business. You are probably also a part of the leadership succession plan. This is a developmental opportunity for you. Do not fight or be on the offensive.
- If your manager hasn’t given you a specific example of where you need to REINFORCE, REFINE or REDIRECT, ask. Do not be afraid. As this is your developmental opportunity, make sure that you are clear. If you aren’t clear, it’s your responsibility.
- Do not be in a hurry to justify. Receive the information gracefully. Use a mind map for yourself to slot information, should there be a need. You have to invest in your own feed-forward.
- Do not hide your eyes. You will lose credibility. Look straight into the eyes of your coach while receiving feed-forward, whether in person or virtually (you’ll need to manage the virtual camera world).
- Ask yourself the reason for resisting the feed-forward, if at all. Is it that you don’t understand, or not like, or not trust the change that is sought? Work on it.
- If your manager offers future guidance, take up the offer. If not, ask for it.
- Create a 30-60-90 development plan for yourself. It’s easier to set tasks and stretch actions rather than deal with change randomly. If you received a feed-forward to REINFORCE, then figure out ways to share your knowledge as a part of your development plan. REFINE should ideally get resolved in the 30-day bracket. REINFORCE would take full 90 days or more.
- Knowledge in the head remains in the air. For it to be real, you need to feel it in your body. For that to happen, find an experiential method to deal with the shift.
The idea of feed-forward is highly developmental and always forward-looking. The concept does not believe in picking faults. As a manager, be open to listening and as a person receiving feed-forward; it’s your organisations investment in you. I wish you the best in your personal developmental journey.
Vikram Badhwar, CEO, Syngrity, is a communications coach, an experiential educator, and an artist trying to bridge the gap between the creative and the analytical side of our brain. He consults global teams in the space of learning behavioural patterns and implementing new techniques to reach Max Q potential.
Interesting Take on a subject of great importance.